A Gripe with the English Language

I feel reasonably at home in English. This language has been the terrain of my thinking work for almost as long as I’ve been alive. High school literature analyses and college reading comprehension occurred in English. Later, editorial letters sandwiched praise and argued in favour of a non-temporal structure to a book in the same language, and, later still, I exchanged reflections on the organizational implications of adult development here. There are many things I feel more comfortable expressing in English; I can wield its words with surprising dexterity.  

That is, of course, except for when I enter the realm of love. Actually, to be more precise, what I find English unable to convey is the silent nuance of the game of love. And, in particular, I am writing to you to complain that English doesn’t have an equivalent for the Spanish word ligar.

Ligar, in Spanish, literally translates to tie, bind, to put a ligature on. It is the verb of the noun “liga”, which means, among other things, an elastic band. I use a liga to put my hair up in a bun. I tie a liga around an open pasta bag to ensure the noodles don’t escape.

Colloquially, in Mexico, we draw on the noun to describe the work of seduction. My trusty SpanishDict describes this version of the word in English as “to enjoy romantic success”; I might cringe.

The closest equivalent in English might be flirt. Flirt, however, doesn’t convey the same direction of energy as ligar does. One can go to a bar and flirt indiscriminately, but often, flirting implies a vapid, shrill affect. There’s an art to flirting, of course, but an additional set of skills corresponds to the stewardship required by the word ligar.

Another option we have in English is the word seduce. Spanish does have the direct translation, seducir, both of which come from the 15th century Latin, seducere, which meant to persuade someone to abandon their duty. To seduce has corruption at its heart. There’s darkness connoted by the verb. And, more importantly, it has a singular destination in mind—a destination, I hope, you don’t need me to spell out. Other phrases or sayings in this territory in English similarly focus exclusively on an outcome: I hooked up with; I got with. The encounter, the chemistry, the careful approach all flattened in crumpled sheets.

There is a thread of seduction in ligar, but the word is broader: one need not ligar only for sex. You can ligar without an outcome in mind, as you might flirt, and you could ligar searching for more traditional commitment, as one might woo. Ligar doesn’t presuppose where you might end or what either party might be looking for. The word simply focuses on the exchange.

Now, to close with some technicalities: ligar is most commonly used to ask or describe the tenor of a conversation between two people. Me lx ligué, I have successfully bound someone; ¿Están ligando? Are you… tying each other together? In the latter case, I suppose one could say, “I was hitting on them” or “Were you guys hitting on each other?”, but I would much rather imagine myself a spider weaving a careful web than the alternative.